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Cornelia Strong College

The University of North Carolina at Greensboro

Friday, 8 December 1999 | End of the Year Special Edition | Newsletter No. 166


The Grand Holiday Tea!

The Grand Holiday Tea was a smashing success! Vast hordes of people and vast hordes of food and fun were in attendance, and a festive time was had by all. The beautiful souvenir page drawn by our own Krista Noll made the rounds to receive everyone’s signature and is now on display in the College Office while it is waiting to be framed. A tuba quartet featuring Sevan Topjian and Jessica Zellers entertained us, Sarah Cox played the clarinet, and Dr. White, Elizabeth Hargrove, and Stephanie Crews played the piano. The world premiere of the new Strong College verse of the ancient college song “Gaudeamus Igitur” took place as well (see the Poem-of-the-Week below). Like those before it, this Grand Holiday Tea will go down in history. Whew!

Survivors’ Tea Next Week

Many people will be hurrying to their other homes as soon as they can, but for those brave and hearty people still here next Tuesday we will have the traditional Survivors’ Tea—bring down all the leftovers from your refrigerator and we will eat them all up. (All that are still edible, that is.) (Or we will give them to the birds and the Didelphic Oracle.) Show everyone that you have survived, and come to the Survivors’ Tea!

Holiday Cards from Our Family

Have friends and family out there in the Big World who would like to receive greetings from Strong College? Then pick up one of our delightful Strong College holiday cards with a photo of our family, now available in the College Office for $1 or $2Strong. The envelope is included, and we even have a special deal on postage stamps just for you. Make people all around the world happy by sending them a Strong College card today!

Tee Shirts, Etc.

Speaking of merchandising, did you know that Strong College tee shirts make excellent holiday gifts for the whole family? Get one for mom, dad, grandpa, grandma, the cat, the fish, and all other members of your household. The excellent design is by our own Courtney Via. Stop by the Office and pick up one today!

Family Tree Charts

Need a hobby? Of course you do. Stop by the College office and pick up a family tree chart to take home with you when you go to your other home for the holidays. Everybody’s got ancestors—fill in yours on the tree, ask your parents or grandparents about their parents and grandparents and see how far back you can go. It’s great fun, and you can learn a lot about history and where you come from. Pick up one of the blank charts today!

Librarians for Next Semester!

The Strong College Library needs you to be a Librarian next semester! The Library is kept open more than 30 hours each week, mostly with the help of volunteer Librarians. As soon as you return in January, watch for information about signing up to be a volunteer! (Signup will probably be Monday night, January 10th, the first day of classes.) Librarians are paid in Strong dollars, and in addition to having a good study opportunity while on duty they earn the gratitude and respect of all Strong College members. Sign up in January!

Presents for the College!

Many people have given wonderful presents to Strong College in the past week or so. Tammy Thorarinson has donated a magnificent … well, you’ll have to come to Tea to see it. Our own Janice Tulloss has donated the already-classic John Cleese video about lemurs (which we hope will be making an appearance in the Lemurodeon very soon). Tom Dort has donated a brand new pack of Star Trek playing cards. C.J. Heidel has donated several new books to the College Library. Kelly White has donated a magnificent book entitled Very Bad Poetry. And Dr. O’Hara has donated a new millennium edition of the World Almanac to the denizens of the JCR. Strong thanks to you all!

Ad Astra

Our own Emily Dahlke starred as Ramona in the North Carolina Theater for Young People’s production of Henry and Ramona recently. Congratulations, Emily!

A grand time was had by the brave Borders Bookstore Expeditionary Force this past weekend under the command of Michelle Marcelais. Join us in the spring on the first Sunday of Every month at 1:00 p.m.

A team of Strong College tuba players is as we speak winging its way to Australia (that’s right) to blow away the competition in an international tuba festival. Watch for photos of kangaroos wearing Strong College tee shirts when they return.


The Poem-of-the-Week appears regularly in this space. This week’s poem is the brand new Strong College verse for “Gaudeamus Igitur” by Bob O’Hara and Josh Orchard that made its debut this week at the Grand Holiday Tea:

Hail to Cora’s College dear,
And to all Cornelians!
Hail to all our Fellows here,
And to friends lemurian!
May the Master of the Universe
Guide our live and ever fill our purse!
Alma mater ever nourish,
Alma mater ever flourish.


9 December (Thursday), 9:00 p.m., Committee Room — Blue Lemur Coffee Bar! Come and get caffeinated!

10 December (Friday), 12:00 noon, Strong College section of the Caf — Fellows’ Lunch; students are welcome!

14 December (Tuesday), 4:30 p.m., Junior Common Room — Survivors’ Tea for the brave souls who are still here!

17 December (Friday) — December Commencement. Moore-Strong Hall closes for winter break.

OFFICIAL DISCLAIMERS: Nothing here is official. Please don’t sue us. I want my CSC. Take that lemur off your head right now. I’ve only been living here three hours and already there’s a ghost in my underwear drawer. No fungi, no future. I feel an interpretive lobster dance coming on. Crash outcomes may vary. There are people praying in my card parlor. I have a ten-foot wingspan. Don’t lick my disclaimer. This does represent the official policy of James Elroy Flecker. I liked it when we had a monopoly. Who needs to work hard when you have extortion. Be quiet or I’ll make you a disclaimer. You’re just jealous of my thick glossy coat. Eeeew, she wrote “gurge.” When you live in the water it’s hard to keep your hair neat. It’s a good thing he has an exoskeleton. I feel so special this week: I’ve been disclaimed. The public wants brain sucking! If this works out, you may be able to live in a glass ball on Mars. I’m a decapod girl in a decapod world. I keep my sanity under my pillow. Mother always told me I should research my Crumplers. Color swirls are a natural occurrence. I have no excuse; I’m just a loser. Stuffed with polyester fiber. I missed having your whiskers up my nose, my little lobster. If you experience eye watering, headaches, or dizziness, increase fresh air or wear respiratory protection. It’s hard being secret agents. Everything’s better with a halo. The better our fantasies are, the better our realities can become. Second star to the right, and straight on till morning. If we succeed there will be many songs sung in our honor. A decent boldness ever meets with friends. Think continually of those who were truly great. Risk—risk is our business; that’s what this starship is all about; that’s why we’re aboard her. Without struggle, there is no progress. Why are we here if we’re not magic? Per Y2K ad astra!

© Robert J. O’Hara 2000–2021