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Cornelia Strong College

The University of North Carolina at Greensboro

Friday, 20 September 1999 | LATE CROQUET EDITION! | Newsletter No. 157


The Fifth Annual Strong College Croquet Tournament a Stellar Success!

The weather was magnificent (no hurricanes in sight) and the grass was green (mostly); food, fun, families, hats, and contestants were everywhere, and a grand time was had by all at the Fifth Annual Strong College Croquet Tournament this past Sunday, September 19th, from 1:00–4:00 p.m. on the East Lawn. Three preliminary rounds were played, and then the top finishers from each round went up against each other in a final playoff. In the interludes the Best Hat Contest and the Guerrilla Croquet race around the building took place, diverting the contestants and the crowd. On the sidelines, the Hit the Stake Contest entertained many more, and delicious and nutritious health food from the grill was served to the masses throughout the day. But enough preliminaries.

The Contestants and the Champion!

The brave croquet warriors of the day were: Todd Thomason, Scott Thomason, Amanda Craig, Sara Phillips, Julia Barefoot, Brittany Ronco, Glen Baity, Austin Karp, Krista Karbowski, Dan Treharne, Chris Williams, Tim Williams, Michelle Marcelais, Sara Neeves, Kelly White, C.J. Heidel, Bryan Fox, Donna Kent, Christopher Hall, Josh Orchard, LaTonya Lipscomb, Lam Tran, Amanda Minter, Jennifer Parry-Hill, and Pam McRae. (Whew!) The competition among the players was fierce. But enough suspense. The winners are:

1999 Tournament Champion: Josh Orchard
Second Place: Tim Williams and Chris Williams
Third Place: Chris Hall

Josh’s name will soon be engraved on the silver Tournament trophy beside the names of past champions, and all future generations of Strong men and women will celebrate his greatness.

Guerrilla Croquet!

The croquet race around the building was as intense as ever. The racers were: Sarah Cox, Josh Orchard, Erik Nuss, Chris Bird, and Cecilia Ruth Lance, and the winner was… Erik Nuss with a time of 3:19! For his pains Erik is the proud winner of a Flecker five and immortal fame. The world record of 2:59 set last year by Sherrill Hayes still stands, however, so the competition next year will be even more fierce. See you then!

Hats and a Thousand Hats!

As is traditional at major Strong College events, a Hat Contest was part of the day’s entertainment. Cecilia Ruth Lance, Kathleen Lance, and Tammy Thorarinson served as judges, and millions of dollars in cash prizes were awarded! (Aren’t you sorry you weren’t there?) So many people won that we don’t even have room to list them all, but you can be sure their certificates will be appearing very soon on doors all around Strong College!

A Million Thanks!

The Strong College Croquet Tournament would never have been possible without the dedicated assistance of David Simon, Krista Noll, Sara Neeves, Courtney Via, Carrie Bogart, Bob O’Hara, Tiffany Tillman, Jessica McClamrock, Chris Bird, Hal Robertson, Jeremy Wood, Kelly White (the one with soot all over her face), Sherrill Hayes, Dan Treharne, Christy Mobley, Jen Stumpf, Lam Tran, Erin Fox, Elizabeth Davis, Daniel McInnis, Dave Day, and Sharon Sullivan, all of them under the able direction of College Council President Bri Payne. Nothing would have happened without the wonderful help of these people—they make Strong College the great place that it is!

Attention All Trekkers!

In anticipation of the season premiere of Star Trek: Voyager, Michelle Marcelais will be hosting a Tribblethon on Tuesday, September 21st, at 7:00 p.m. in the Star Chamber! The classic episode “The Trouble With Tribbles” will be followed by Deep Space Nine’s “Trials and Tribblations” which will be followed in turn by a special episode of Star Trek: Voyager at 9:00 p.m. Then on Wednesday the 22nd, we will be watching the season finale of Voyager at 8:00 p.m., followed by the eagerly awaited premiere of Voyager’s new season at 9:00 p.m., all in the Star Chamber. Come drink Romulan ale, munch on gogh (not live, alas), and bring your sewing!

Ad Astra

Strong thanks to Tammy Thorarinson who has contributed yet another new state quarter to the Strong College coin collection, this time a Pennsylvania quarter from the Denver mint. Tammy has won eternal fame (as if she didn’t have enough already) and a Strong dollar for her generosity. Come to the College Office to take a look at the collection—Connecticut is still to come this year, so keep your eyes (and palms) open!


Today’s special edition Poem-of-the-Week is John Keats’s “To Autumn” (1820), now an annual croquet tradition:

Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness
  Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun;
Conspiring with him how to load and bless
With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eaves run;
To bend with apples the mossed cottage-trees,
  And fill all fruit with ripeness to the core;
    To swell the gourd, and plump the hazel shells
  With a sweet kernel; to set budding more,
And still more, later flowers for the bees,
Until they think warm days will never cease,
    For Summer has o’er-brimmed their clammy cells.

Who hath not seen thee oft amid thy store?
  Sometimes whoever seeks abroad may find
Thee sitting on a granary floor,
  Thy hair soft-lifted by the winnowing wind;
Or on a half-reaped furrow sound asleep,
  Drowsed with the fume of poppies, while thy hook
    Spares the next swath and all its twined flowers:
And sometimes like a gleaner thou dost keep
  Steady thy laden head across a brook;
  Or by a cider-press, with patient look,
    Thou watchest the oozings hours by hours.

Where are the songs of Spring? Aye, where are they?
  Think not of them, thou hast thy music too—
While barred clouds bloom the soft-dying day,
  And touch the stubble-plains with rosy hue;
Then in a wailful choir the small gnats mourn
  Among the river sallows, borne aloft
  Or sinking as the light wind lives or dies;
And full-grown lambs loud bleat from hilly bourn;
  Hedge crickets sing; and now with treble soft
  The redbreast whistles from a garden croft;
    And gathering swallows twitter in the skies.


There was so much news this week the Calendar wouldn’t fit! The usual events will be taking place, with some special additions noted above. Strong College is jumping!

OFFICIAL DISCLAIMERS: Nothing here is official. Please don’t sue us. I’m like a walking stupid thing bulletin board. Face up, chip first. Overexposure may result in nausea, headache, confusion, and instability. I thrive on menial labor. This does not represent the official policy of Horace the one-eyed squirrel, Aaarrg the one-eyed lemur, Jeremiah the one-eyed frog, or Louis the one-eyed koala. Most things break down faster in your stomach. I’m verging on the gelatinous. Must stay with clothes after 8:30 p.m. Edibility not known. From contented cows. Even my plastic plants die. Don’t let that quiet, fuzzy demeanor fool you. If this works out, you may be able to live in a glass ball on Mars. Promptly refrigerate unused portion. My leader wears the horns of power. Color swirls are a natural occurrence. Performed on authentic period instruments. Stuffed with polyester fiber. If you experience eye watering, headaches, or dizziness, increase fresh air or wear respiratory protection. Everything’s better with a halo. The better our fantasies are, the better our realities can become. Second star to the right, and straight on till morning. If we succeed there will be many songs sung in our honor. A decent boldness ever meets with friends. Think continually of those who were truly great. Risk—risk is our business; that’s what this starship is all about; that’s why we’re aboard her. Smaller, better, quicker. Per aspera ad astra!

© Robert J. O’Hara 2000–2021