THE YEAR, THE YEAR, THE YEAR!

August 1995

Welcome to old and new members! Welcome Kevin, Kim, and Marilyn. Grand opening Tea. Library opens. (Thank you, librarians!) Recycling begins. Strong dollars! Literary Hour resumes. More donations to the Library. College Council meetings begin. Newspaper subscription begins. Voyager! The Puzzle Board. A circulating Library! Council meetings. New subscribers to Strong-L. “Let all Cornelian voices ring / In free exultant song!”

September 1995

Azure, in sinister chief three mullets of eight points or, two and one. New pool balls! Tea. Collecting chestnuts. Barbershop harmony. The College Horticulturalists. Literary Hour. The First Annual Strong College Croquet Tournament! Sun, grass, ruts, wickets! Cookouts! Visitors! Congratulations to all the winners! Thanks to all. The Trophy! (Thank you, Laura!) Council meetings. “All for one and one for all!”

October 1995

The Chancellor’s installation! (Congratulations, Pat.) Piano recitals. Gypsyfest. The Senior Tutor’s Awards. Free key rings. Seven. Charlotte’s make-overs. McIver Conference. Welcome, Ms. Chapman! Donations to the coin collection. (You’re welcome.) Adopt-a-Friend at Well-Spring. A visitor from Poland. The Halloween Dance! Costumes, prizes! Palm reading! Decorations! Congratulations to the corporate raider. Children come to trick-or-treat. Thanks to the College Council. Fencing at Tea! Hat samples. “The fewer men, the greater share of honour!”

November 1995

An anniversary for our sister college. (Congratulations, RC.) Strong College stationery! Feeding the birds. Tea. Plants, plants, and more plants. Red-bellied Woodpeckers. Elizabeth and Al. Council meetings. Literary Hour. Fencing! A new tool box. (Thanks, Sally.) A new rug for the Game Room. (You’re welcome.) Tea. Pictures on the Web. Carolina Wrens. Turkey! Gobble, gobble, gobble. “Truth? A pebble of quartz? For once, then, something.”

December 1995

The Great Holiday Tea! (Welcome, Pat.) Musicians everywhere! Decorating the Tree! The Penny Drive! More and more plants. Dylan Thomas and a miniature tree. (You’re welcome.) Spoons for the kitchen. Generations. (Thank you, Denise.) Tea. Visiting the Observatory. (Thank you, Steve.) “And after dinner the uncles sat in front of the fire, loosened all buttons, put their large moist hands over their watch chains, groaned a little, and slept.”

January 1996

Snow! Snow! The Strong College Snow Person™. Shovelling out the front door. (Thank you, Angie.) Welcome, Frank! Welcome, Joan! The Library re-opens. More contributions to the Lemur Fund. Our web pages in the Chronicle. Ms. Cherry’s cake! A new almanac for the JCR. (You’re welcome.) The Newsletter turns 50. “And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover, / And a quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick’s over.”

February 1996

The Senior Tutor’s Awards! (Congratulations to all.) The petting zoo grows and grows. (Thank you Mark, Jennifer, and Sherrill!) The Valentine’s Day Love Soirée. Counting pennies. The Annual Flood! Fire alarms. Chaos Reigns! (And rains!) Fire alarms. X-philes assemble for the first time! The Brief Life and Tragic Death of Mr. Squirrel. The Philosophy Club. Decoration of The Star Chamber begins. (Thanks, Dave.) More coins for the collection. The Blue Lemur opens! Caffeine! Conversation! (Thank you, Tim.) Prospective students visit. Strong College hats arrive! (Thank you, Danielle.) More and more animals in the petting zoo. Letters to Bosnia. Flecker!

March 1996

Library email at last! Camellias in bloom. Council meetings. The Unity Games. Tea. Music and more music. Fencing. The Blue Lemur. Michigan conference on residential colleges. (We’re famous!) Tea. Literary Hour. “Tracing one warm line through a land so wide and savage, / And make a northwest passage to the sea.”

April 1996

The Second Annual Buffalo Creek Regatta! Sun! Water! Boats! Mud! The Corps of Engineers! Food, prizes, fun and more fun. Congratulations to all the winners! Council elections! (Congratulations, Rachel!) Comedy movie marathon! Spectacular End of the Year Tea! Food! (Thank you, Council.) Jazz! The Senior Fellow’s Awards! The Penny Drive! Kim plucks Dave like a chicken on the tennis court. The Honors Convocation. “So through the night rode Paul Revere; / And so through the night went his cry of alarm / To every Middlesex village and farm.”

May 1996

The Senior’s Tea. Alumni visit! (Welcome, alumni.) Commencement! Peace and quiet. Dr. O’Hara goes to sleep.

Poem-of-the-Year (Thank You, Elroy.)

I who am dead a thousand years,
And wrote this sweet archaic song,
Send you my words for messengers
The way I shall not pass along.

I care not if you bridge the seas,
Or ride secure the cruel sky,
Or build consummate palaces
Of metal or of masonry.

But have you wine and music still,
And statues and a bright-eyed love,
And foolish thoughts of good and ill,
And prayers to them who sit above?

How shall we conquer? Like a wind
That falls at eve our fancies blow,
And old Maeonides the blind
Said it three thousand years ago.

O friend unseen, unborn, unknown,
Student of our sweet English tongue,
Read out my words at night, alone:
I was a poet, I was young.

Since I can never see your face,
And never shake you by the hand,
I send my soul through time and space
To greet you. You will understand.

STRONG COLLEGE CALENDAR

Tuesday, 7 May

4:30–5:30 p.m., Junior Common Room: Survivors’ Tea, for all remaining students. (Laurie White)

OFFICIAL DISCLAIMERS: Nothing here is official. Please don’t sue us. We’re back, and we don’t like voice mail. Not to be taken internally. Get the cheese to sickbay. Your mileage may vary. Not for use on pets with fur or as a dessert topping. No caffeine. No customers need apply. Beware of sticky wickets. Give me a home where the buffalo roam. All trademarks are the property of their owners. The more complex the mind, the greater the need for the simplicity of play. Caution: Wet Floor. Just because something is eternal doesn’t mean it can’t be fashionable. Furniture not included. Weird is part of the job. Please recycle. Division I coffee brewing by 2001! I find the whole concept of nephrons to be quite interesting. Look left. No firearms, concealed or otherwise. Keep out of reach of children, parking lots, and the irony-impaired. Do not inhale. Keep from freezing. It cost $4,455,000 and you can’t open the windows? Shake well. Division I birding by 2001! This does not represent the official policy of the United States Government, the State of North Carolina, Apple Computer, Inc., Boutros Boutros Barbie, Mr. Squirrel, the Fabled Lost Cities of the Lemurs, Platypuses, Hedgehogs, Salmon, Flamingoes, or Porcupines ™, the Angolan Christmas Tree Mining Company, Inc., Rudolph the Red-nosed Lemur ©, the late and much-lamented Strong College Snow Person™, James Elroy Flecker, the Q Continuum, the Cannibal Vampire Schoolgirls from Outerspace, the Thai Fishsauce Company, Ltd., the Enchanted Umbrella Forest, Inc., the Klingon Empire, the Henley Royal Regatta, the American Duct Tape Council, or Be-bop-a-re-bop Rhubarb Pies, Inc. That’s nice. Mind the gap. Division I Easter egg hunting by 2001! The living dead don’t do dishes. I think I drank too much green root beer. Dolphin-friendly. If all else fails, throw some monkeys at it. Resistance is futile. Some sound levels are of 24th-century intensity. Mr. Daniel looks like a Spaniel. Not a significant source of calories. Pick up from other end. Gosh I love the Library! Do not poke or jab with lightsaber. I think you are sitting on my Strong Dollar. Division I bubble blowing by 2001! Very low sodium. Beware of flying hearts. This device may cause radio interference if not properly installed. Contains no squid. Test on an inconspicuous spot. I don’t have a life, I have a program. No one under 17 admitted without parent or guardian. The truth is out there. $112.50. May suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. Division I crew by 2001! Refrigerate after opening. Wait three minutes before restarting. Keep out of reach of logical positivists. No refills. Yeep, yeep, yeep. For external use only. Good while supplies last. Complies with Part 68 FCC Rules. Rules subject to change without notice. Division III baseball by 2001! Does not include tax, title, or destination charges. The right of translation is reserved. Store in a cool dry place. Division I croquet by 2001! Peace of mind guaranteed—not! I shall not cease from mental fight, nor shall my sword sleep in my hand, till we have built Jerusalem in England’s green and pleasant land. Carpe diem! Risk—risk is our business; that’s what this starship is all about; that’s why we’re aboard her. All things are ready if our minds be so. Five-card stud, nothing wild, and the sky’s the limit. The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. Never give up. Never give up. Never, never, never give up. Per aspera ad astra!