GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENTS

August 1996

Welcome to all members, new (the Class of 2000!) and old! Welcome to new staff! Fellows help on moving day. The Grand Opening Tea! Blue Lemur Coffee Bar opens. Voyager! ER! Literary Hour resumes. The Council meets again! University life conversations with Fellows. “Let all Cornelian voices ring / In free, exultant song!”

September 1996

Borders Bookstore Breakaway! (Thank you, Pam.) The College Library opens! (Thank you, Cliff, and thank you, Librarians!) The London Sunday Times. Foreign films at the Blue Lemur. More Library donations and a science encyclopedia. Fran! Fellows doing laundry. The Senior Tutor’s Awards. William Willimon visits UNCG. Tea. Strong College freshman delegates to the SGA. Bill Hardin talks of trees. Nitro! (Rumble, rumble, rumble!)

October 1996

The Second Annual Strong College Croquet Tournament! Blue sky, green grass, good times! Congratulations, Mike! Congratulations, all hat contest winners! Thank you, all helpers! (We couldn’t have done it without you.) Tea. St. Crispin’s Day. Voyager. The Halloween Dance! Fun, friends, and costumes! Breaking boards. Strong-L talks and talks. “The redbreast whistles from a garden croft; / And gathering swallows twitter in the skies.”

November 1996

Our first Facebook! Back to Borders. Flecker Day 1997! (The most important day in the entire academic year.) Election day TV watching. (Thank you, Durenda.) Visiting students. Tea. Fellows’ lunches. Personality types. Flyting in writing. More foreign films. First Contact! (Wow!) Virtual visitors to our web page from around the world. “To those who, by the dint of glass and vapour, / Discover stars, and sail in the wind’s eye.”

December 1996

The Grand and Spectacular Holiday Tea! Music! The tree! The Penny Drive! A Child’s Christmas in Wales. Poisoning pigeons in the park. The Flecker Five. Nitro and Voyager. Goodbye, Deborah. Goodbye, Rachel. “I turned the gas down. I got into bed. I said some words to the close and holy darkness. And then I slept.”

January 1997

Happy New Year! Welcome to Laura and Kelly in their new offices. Borders. Poker Night begins! (Thousands guard their wallets from the College Croupier.) The Senior Tutor’s Awards. Coffee Bar. More web pages. Strong dollars. The Library reopens. Nitro. New bookcases! (Thank you, Bill.) Voyager. Squeezing the frog. Texas; whiskey. Room sign-up. Collecting 1997 coins. The bird list of 1996. Songs by Finzi and Friends.

February 1997

Hamlet! Prospective students visit. Bartlett’s Quotations. (Thank you, Chris.) The Great Valentine’s Day Love Soirée. “Nkosi, sikelel’ iAfrika; / Malupakam’upondo lwayo; / Yiva imitandazo yetu / Usisikelele.”

March 1997

SGA Town Meeting. Flower arrangements. (Thank you, Marilyn!) Hale-Bopp visits. Viewing from the front lawn and the top of McIver. (Thank you, Steve.) Picking out new (old) furniture at the warehouse. (Thank you, Coleen.) A purple platypus and a brown squirrel. (Thank you, Daisy and Heather.) Wild hammocks. An especially luxurious Tea. (Thank you, Joan and Laura!) Henley the Bear. (You’re welcome.) SGA Elections! Congratulations, Durenda and all others winners! You’ll make it next time, Jon! “Hale-Bopp/Does drop. / All eyes / Do rise.”

April 1997

Jolly boating weather! The Third Annual Buffalo Creek Regatta! The Mayor’s Proclamation! Boats! Water! Sun! Fun! The Head of the Buffalo, 1997! Council elections. (Congratulations, Scott!)

May 1997

Farewell to so many people. Goodbye, all our graduates. Goodbye, all our foreign visitors. Goodbye, Charlotte, Mickela, Laura, Pam! Goodbye, Kim! (How will we survive without you?) Thank you, Laurie!

Poem-of-the-Year

Poem-and-Song-of-the-Year (from the Senior Tutor to his College, with thanks to de la Mare and especially Finzi):

Dearest, it was a night
That in its darkness racked Orion’s stars;
A sighing wind ran faintly white
Along the willows, and the cedar boughs
Laid their wide hands in stealthy peace across
The starry silence of their antique moss:
No sound save rushing air
Cold, yet all sweet with Spring,
And in thy mother’s arms, couched weeping there,
Thou, lovely thing.

STRONG COLLEGE CALENDAR

6 May (Tuesday), 4:30–5:30 p.m., Junior Common Room — Survivors’ Tea, for all remaining students.

OFFICIAL DISCLAIMERS: Nothing here is official. Please don’t sue us. It’s after midnight; I’m allowed not to make sense. I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself King of Infinite Space, were it not that I have bad dreams. Objects in mirror are closer than they appear. May be harmful if swallowed. Fasten seat belts. Mind the gap. Soft shoulders. No caffeine. All trademarks are the property of their owners. For external use only. Major funding provided by the SCWDS and the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. Do not eat. Your mileage may vary. Store in a cool, dry place. Refrigerate after opening. Does not include tax, title, or destination charges. Drink plenty of fluids. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Very low sodium. When I get tired of using English I just meow. No one under 17 admitted without parent or guardian. Lots of semi-gratuitous violence and blood-letting, but with a sense of humor. Past performance does not guarantee future results. That was better than a soap opera. Machine washable and dryer safe. Choking hazard. Product and colors may vary. This does not represent the official policy of the United States Government, the State of North Carolina, Apple Computer, the International Olympic Committee, Hulk Hogan, Peppah the Dog, the College Octopus, the City of Atlanta Transportation Authority, the College Boa, Guy Fawkes, Bill Clinton, Bob Dole, the Republican Congress, the Democratic White House, UN-Man, the Order of the Soccer Moms, David Mamet, the Sub-Department of Parliamentary Restructuring, the United Federation of Planets, Hurricane Fran, the Strong College Flyting Society™, Paramount Pictures, Inc., the Angolan Christmas Tree Mining Company, the King Biscuit Poetry Hour, the Borg Queen, Gerald Finzi, Gawron, Rollo the Lemur©, Holiday Barbie, Barbie of Borg™, the Varmint Masters Association, the fabled Lost City of the Lemurs™, Boris the spider, Selima the cat, or Tiney the hare, may they all rest in peace. It does represent the official policy of James Elroy Flecker. Eye irritant. You dumb horse. Crayons not included. Contains 10% real fruit juice. Boys are weird. Wait three minutes before restarting. Do not inhale. Mr. Daniel looks like a spaniel. Void where prohibited by law. Air conditioning sometimes included. No refills. Artwork is for illustration purposes only. If swallowed or lodged in ear or nose, promptly see doctor. Do not leave in sunlight. Figures sold separately. Hold handrail. This programme can be read in the dark. Don’t kill me, I’m too young and cute to die. Read cautions on back. May cause burns. I’m a doctor, not a counterinsurgent. Rules subject to change. Elvis has left the building. Division III baseball by 2001. Give me a home where the buffalo roam. The right of translation is reserved except in regions of temporal distortion. Point away from people while opening. 1 pair flamingos. There’s coffee in that nebula. Endorsed by writers and professional hunters everywhere. I know who I’m biting and why. Darmok and Jelad at Tenagra. Not a significant source of calories. Feel the power. Strawberry fields forever. Easy to clean vinyl lining. Will not craze most plastics. Macarena free. Borg implants not included. Easily slips beneath outerwear. Contains no squid. Product and colors may vary. Made in U.S.A. Shown actual size. Do not shake. When dry, brush lightly. OK, shoot Dr. O’Hara and then we’ll go. I’m not singing any boating song. Rubber ducky, you’re the one. The most common things in the Universe are hydrogen and stupidity. Vapors may cause flash fire. I refuse to cope with weirdness in my nightshirt. If swallowed, do not induce vomiting. Hale-Bopp / Does drop. We work for smokers. May cause burns. Division I croquet, pumpkin carving, poetry reading, tree decorating, Nitro, tribble hunting, movie watching, varmint hunting, room sign-up, price gouging, and environmental degradation by 2001! Once more into the breach, dear friends. Second star to the right, and straight on till morning. If we succeed there will be many songs sung in our honor. The better our fantasies are, the better our realities can become. Think continually of those who were truly great. A decent boldness ever meets with friends. Risk—risk is our business; that’s what this starship is all about; that’s why we’re aboard her. Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty! Resistance is futile. Assimilate this. Per Fran, decanos, et aspera ad astra!!