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Strong-L Demands, September 1999

One of the cleverest threads from Strong-L, the Strong College discussion group, was certainly the issuing of demands by a number of the college’s members in September 1999. The thread was begun spontaneously by one student, and a series of respondents (including three fellows of the college) entered the fray over the next several days.

In this transcript the full names and email addresses of the participants have been omitted for the sake of privacy, but the contents have not otherwise been altered.


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Date: Tue, 21 Sep 1999 19:08:14 PDT
From: Sarah
  To: Strong-L
Subj: Demands

These are my demands:

1: A Sherpa
2: An S2000 Roadster
3: A Leather Jacket
4: A Flying Saucer
5: A Cheeseburger

The Supreme Czarina of the Universe

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Date: Tue, 21 Sep 1999 10:47:24 PM EDT
From: Sherrill
  To: Strong-L
Subj: Re: Demands

I have some demands as well:

1) That this silliness stop before it gets out of hand.
2) Someone write my MS thesis proposal for me, by the end of next week.
3) There be a station that plays nothing but Desi Arnaz, Vic Damone, Frank
   Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Monster Magnet 24 hours a day.
4) I like that cheeseburger idea, so I'll have one of those with chili,
   slaw, and mustard, with a side of chili cheese fries and a Cheerwine.
5) The phrase "and stuff" be added to the end of any sentence that isn't
   funny.
6) Don't sleep in the subway darlin'.

Sherrill is trapped in a world of methodology and lounge music.

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Date: Wed, 22 Sep 1999 09:46:47 EDT
From: Dr. M
  To: Strong-L
Subj: Re: Demands

I like these lists of demands; they're very revealing of personality.
Having said that, I will venture my own list.  Humm, let me see.

1.  A yellow roadster -- a la Sarah and Nancy Drew
2.  A beige linen jumper before they go out of style
3.  The perfect pair of clogs that look great and feel good both
4.  Some more nice weather
5.  The Margaret Drabble novels I haven't been able to find, ditto
    Barbara Vine, and Ian McEwan

Not in that particular order :-)  Dr. M

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Date: Wed, 22 Sep 1999 10:29:29 EDT
From: Adam
  To: Strong-L
Subj: Re: Demands

If Dr. M can make demands, then so can I.  Here we are:

1. A mansion with substantial grounds, unlimited shelf space and
   a top-notch washer/dryer set.
2. The resuscitation of _The New Yorker_ as a proper and
   independent literary magazine.
3. A Star Trek series blessed with good scriptwriting *and* good
   acting.  The special effects they have down--everything else needs work.
4. A bag of nicely sour Granny Smith apples.
5. As many Apple Computers as I deem necessary.

Adam

  The greatest of faults, I should say,
  is to be conscious of none.

  -Thomas Carlyle, _On Heroes and Hero-Worship_

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Date: Wed, 22 Sep 1999 10:33:43 EDT
From: donna
  To: Strong-L
Subj: Re: Demands

my demands-

1) someone else pay off my college loans
2) a house in marple, greater manchester
3) a new right arm
4) everyone wants do to do something to benefit humanity and not
   just themselves
5) my very own computer

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Date: Wed, 22 Sep 1999 12:09:56 EDT
From: Tim
  To: Strong-L
Subj: Re: Demands

The peer pressure is too much.  I'll submit a few demands,
requests...whatever increases my chances of getting what I want:

1) for my life to be a-jingle in my pocket, to know no direction, and to
   not have to
2) for my nice black nike runners to live as long as I do
3) while my mind is young, to always grow in knowledge and metaphor
4) when old, to live as though I've not aged, and to be able to spin
   stories from memory without hyperbole
5) to say-paint as many worthwhile ideas as I net, and to be always wise,
   honest and criticised

...and lastly, to own (and be able to fit into) a Shelby Cobra.

-tim

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Date: Wed, 22 Sep 1999 14:09:29 EDT
From: Laurie
  To: Strong-L
Subj: demands

My demands are few and modest:

1. a starring role in a play, any play;
2. a satin dress with a big skirt (ca. 1953) and an appropriate place
   to wear it;
3. that my cat learn to speak;
4. that someone read poetry to me as I lie on a chaise lounge;
5. a perfect orangeade.

--Laurie

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Date: Wed, 22 Sep 1999 14:41:48 EDT
From: Kate
  To: Strong-L
Subj: Re: demands

Alright, I too am feeling the peer pressure.

In no particular order, I demand...

1. to be heard;
2. the John Coltrane "Giant" box set;
3. a Coke WITHOUT ICE;
4. the ability to sing like Ella;
5. a halo and a set of wings...oh, wait, I have that already...
6. a cure for pain;
7. truth.

-Kate-

  "To be an American geek and make a living from it -- man, that's
  incredible."  --Michael Stipe (of R.E.M.)

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Date: Wed, 22 Sep 1999 14:57:54 EDT
From: Krista
  To: Strong-L
Subj: Re: demands

Okay, this is fun...

1.) Total domination of the world (duh)
2.) Tenure at the university of my choice (teaching Philosophy)
3.) All the Spawn toys that were ever and will ever be made
4.) Self-cleaning teeth so I'd never have to go to the dentist again
4.) The Toyota of my choice
5.) Pikachu, a real one
    and
6.) For all stupid people in the world to wear signs.  Is that too much
    to ask, really?

Krista says "Here's your sign."

  "They subsidize your nightclubs, they subsidize your malls, they herd and
  brand the masses within painted prison walls.  Until your freedom of
  assembly becomes the missles they create or just mass delusion dancing to
  this music that you hate"

   ~ Propagandhi ~

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Date: Wed, 22 Sep 1999 15:35:29 EDT
From: Linda
  To: Strong-L
Subj: Re: demands

Ok, here are mine (Linda's)

1. I also want to be an actress.  I hope Broadway is ready for both of us
   (me and Laurie).

2. To live in New York in the 30's and 40's, write for the New Yorker, and
   hang out at the Algonquin with Dorothy Parker et al.  (If I can't be an
   actress.)

3. To have a penthouse apartment and at least two highly intelligent,
   well-paid, and devastatingly witty servants (who love working for me).

4. To speak fluent Italian.

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Date: Wed, 22 Sep 1999 15:37:59 EDT
From: That Weird Oboist
  To: Strong-L
Subj: Demands

Hell...why not? I demand:

1. That sleep as a necessity of life be abolished.
2. That the "Think system" (a la The Music Man) actually worked, and that
   I would get better at music every time I thought about practicing.
3. My very own set of authentic renaissance instruments, and the ability
   to play them.
4. The freedom to wear whatever I want, whenever I want, without instilling
   fear in the eyes of all those around me.  (I'm thinking costumes, pajamas,
   satin dresses, etc.)
5. A very very rich and old multimillionaire to be the widow of.  (winks
   at Jessica)

There's more, but everybody's writing five, so I guess I'll stop.
If my demands are not met...

I'll go on living as usual.

--Cathy

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Date: Wed, 22 Sep 1999 15:46:40 EDT
From: ED
  To: Strong-L
Subj: Re: demands

Well, now I HAVE to say something.  ^_^

ED wants nothing so much as...

~A free trip to Japan with lots of spending money
~An apartment in Bath
~Some chicken salad
~Every Dragonball episode ever, uncut and subtitled
~My very own magical sword
~Phenomenal writing talent (that way this post would be much more creative)

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Date: Wed, 22 Sep 1999 16:08:09 EDT
From: Sara
  To: Strong-L
Subj: demands

well, i guess that i shall send my list

I demand:

1) a 9 foot bosendorfer piano (not JUST because tori has one...they
   are wonderful and they are well over $1,000,000)
2) a banana split...i have not had one in a LONG time...denny's
   anyone??  :)  :)
3) for space ghost and cartoon planet to come on every single night
4) the singles from little earthquakes
5) a massuer/masseuse

i have more but oh well...i will only list five

and like cathy, i *guess* i will keep on living if i don't acquire these
items...well...maybe everything except the banana split.  denny's anyone??

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Date: Wed, 22 Sep 1999 18:36:12 EDT
From: Kelly
  To: Strong-L
Subj: Re: Demands

Hmmm...well, I'm going to make a few demands as well:

I want:

1) The five page paper due tomorrow that I haven't started yet to be written
2) Complete movement in my left middle and ring fingers
3) A nice pair of black winter dress shoes with a heel
4) The ocean...here
5) Robert Frost's complete poems
6) A cup of hot chocolate
7) A backrub

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Date: Wed, 22 Sep 1999 19:45:25 EDT
From: Jessica
  To: Strong-L
Subj: Re: Demands

1.  My own island.  Not the tropical kind.  I'm thinking Antarctica.
3.  A dark latin lover, primarily for the sake of alliteration.
4.  That Mr. Peanut dartboard I saw once on ebay that my dad advised me
    not to get.
5.  My own personal coffee bar.  Presumably the subsets of Demand #2 will
    operate it.

oops i forgot 2.

2.  Hordes of screaming fans, desperate to see me, desperate to hear me
    playing tuba, forking over wheelbarrows full of green green money just
    to be in my presence.  (kinda like sara and the whole tori thing.)

ps.  lots and lots and lots of papers to proofread.  anyone?

Kindly take these advisements into consideration and act accordingly.
Thank you.

-Jessica

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Date: Wed, 22 Sep 1999 20:10:54 EDT
From: Glen
  To: Strong-L
Subj: Glen's Humble Demands, wave 1

Glen's Humble Requests, which differ from demands in title only -- I'll
still be hella pissed if I'm not granted them all.  Especially #3.

1) A 10-Foot wing-span.
2) A prosthetic forehead to wear on my real head.
3) Pikachu's rotting corpse.
4) Mutton.
5) Yoda.  The real guy, not some puppet.  Real Yoda.  Don't bother me
   with petty details about how he died in 1983, Earth Time -- get to work.
6) A birdbath in my room.
7) Some birds to bathe in it, preferably predatory (man, that's fun to say).

Glen is listening to Paolo Conte

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Date: Thu, 23 Sep 1999 00:41:07 EDT
From: Sharon
  To: Strong-L
Subj: Re: Demands

1-  A chocolate milkshake
2-  A night with Robert Redford
3-  Front row tickets to the next Aerosmith concert
4-  A copy of the Rat Pack
5-  My copy of Tombstone back from Shelly
6-  A tall caramel mocha made by my Starbucks buddy who now works for a
    produce company
7-  A little less stress over the next two weeks
8-  A fifth of Cuervo Gold (outside of the dorm, of course)
9-  My wonderful Cockatiel to be the official CSC bird (I'll clean up his
    language, I promise!)
10- Last, but not least, a single white rose

Sharon

(PS -- I have ten because I am ridiculously high maintenance.)

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Date: Mon, 27 Sep 1999 11:00:55 EDT
From: Erin
  To: Strong-L
Subj: Re: demands

well, I know I'm a little late on this (my computer was strugglin just a
bit, all better now), but I know everyone is dying to find out my desires
so they may rush to fill them...  ;)

1.  to have talent that rivals Ella, only Erin style  :)
2.  a white dress that doesn't fight October (Laurie, if you find
    those patterns, I'll make two dresses, a white one for me and one
    for you of your color/fabric choice, deal?)
3.  Vincent Van Gogh's "Cafe Terrace at Night"
4.  a kitten
5.  a single tiger lily

Erin is listening to her newest Ella CD...  :)

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© Robert J. O’Hara 2000–2016